Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
