I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Randomize