it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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