He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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