I just cut my nipple shaving
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
