i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
