Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
