I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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