hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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