I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
