i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
