i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The beer is more important than you right now.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
