oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
