Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
