K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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