You're so nebulous sometimes
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize