I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
