she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
