I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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