remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
