Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
