I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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