Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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