You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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