Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
