He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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