What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize