Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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