Nicole vs. Life
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
