You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize