sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
