so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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