it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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