AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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