never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
me + whiskey = a bad person
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
