afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
