No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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