So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
