christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
