Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize