there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
