i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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