She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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