Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
