His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
