You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
