i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
