she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
