Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
