so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
