this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
