i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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