last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
