God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
