You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
