his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
