New invention idea: vibrating tampons
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
