Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize