pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
