he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Come share oat with me in your robe
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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