she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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